


The Job Interview

by pine67



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Banter, David is being David - Freeform, Episode: s06e03 The Job Interview, Fluff, M/M, POV Patrick Brewer, Patrick protects him from all that can set him off, Post-Episode: s06e03 The Job Interview
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26926078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pine67/pseuds/pine67
Summary: The series of texts from David displayed on his screen either don’t have anything to do with each other, or he is thoroughly misunderstanding their context. Since when would David go to Patrick for a wardrobe emergency?
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 10
Kudos: 77





	The Job Interview

**_David: So Stevie’s emergency wasn’t actually an emergency_ **

**_David: But now I have a wardrobe emergency_ **

**_David: Can you come meet me at your place for lunch?_ **

Patrick blinks at his phone, and then squints, and then blinks. 

The series of texts from David displayed on his screen either don’t have anything to do with each other, or he is thoroughly misunderstanding their context. Since when would  _ David  _ go to  _ Patrick _ for a wardrobe emergency? 

**_Patrick: Sure? I can grab us something to-go from the Café and meet you there_ **

**_David: Perfect, thank you so much, oh future-husband of mine ❤️_ **

By the time the last of a group of customers leaves the store, it’s already past noon and Patrick is more than ready to take a break. Sure, he can  _ handle _ the store on his own. But no one ever caught him saying it was  _ fun. _

Patrick picks up his and David’s favourite chicken salads - served cold because nothing served hot ever makes it in a to-go container - before hopping into his car and making his way home.

He finds David digging through Patrick’s closet. He hasn’t made a mess, but that’s likely about to change. “So uh… What’s going on here, David?” 

“I need clothes for a job interview.” He replies matter of factly. 

As if that makes any sense. 

As if that answers Patrick’s question. 

“I’m sorry, you’re applying to jobs?”

“Stevie is applying to jobs.” 

Patrick tries to connect the dots, he really does. But something isn’t adding up. “David, I’m gunna need you to pause what you’re doing for a second and explain to me what’s happening here.” He uses his  _ I’m serious, the booze comes out of your paycheck  _ voice, in the hopes that David will slow down and take him seriously. 

David abandons the closet and walks over to Patrick. He peaks into the paper bag of food. “Ugh, I’m starving, thank you so much.” He pulls out one of the identical containers and proceeds to take a big bite as he stands. 

“Why does Stevie need to borrow my clothes for a job interview?” 

“Oh, no, sorry- I meant. Stevie is applying to jobs in general. She got an interview today with an airline company. The problem is she doesn’t think I can be more qualified than her. Me, who has travelled the world and been on many private planes.” His explanation is haughty at best as he flicks a hand over his shoulder, pretending to push away long locks of invisible hair. 

“David, please don’t tell me you applied to the same job just to spite her.” 

“Well, I couldn’t just let her think she’d be a better flight attendant than me, could I?”

“Uh- you could! You very easily could let your best friend, who has been stuck at the same motel front desk job for  _ years, _ have an opportunity at growing her skill set and advancing forward in her career.” 

“Well… when you put it like that,” David looks sheepish, his torso curls in on itself in shame. 

Patrick sighs. “The damage hasn’t been done yet. You can turn your day off into a half day. You know, manning the store alone isn’t actually all it’s cracked up to be.” 

“Funny thing is,” David’s grimace is so not helping, “I already submitted an application online. They’re expecting me.” 

“You  _ what?” _

Patrick has to empty his hands of his own unopened container and start pacing. 

David pulls out his phone, “Look, it says right here,” David clears his throat and makes a tight reading face. “Congratulations, David Rose, you have been selected to continue with the interview process for Larry Air. See the attached-”

“Larry Air? The airline is called  _ Larry Air _ and you’re taking them seriously?”

“Well, of course, Patrick, Stevie is taking them seriously and so will I.”

“If you’re going to try so hard, what happens if they actually - and trust me, I know this is a far fetch -  _ offer you the job?! _ ”

David starts flailing his wrists and rolling his eyes in that way where he wants to make it known he’s frustrated and just wants to get to the point. “Oh, I’m going to leave my business partner in the dust and abandon the-” he can’t even carry out the sarcasm. “Of course I’m going to politely decline!”

Patrick frowns and continues pacing. He doesn’t like this plan. He doesn’t like this plan one bit. “I don’t know, David. The recruiting process for any business is a very intensive and time consuming one. Imagine if a young high school kid walked up to the store and, even though we’re not looking for someone to hire, we take pity on him because things are tough at home and he desperately needs an income.”

David opens his mouth to interject, but Patrick pushes forward. 

“And then we go through with the application; offer him a job; and bam! He’s never to be heard from again because it was a prank.” Patrick’s frown, at this point, looks theatrical. But he’s trying to make a point. He walks back to David and holds onto him tight, pleading with his eyes. “We went through with an entire job application and then the rug was pulled from right under our feet. How would that make you feel?”

David pries fingers from around his wrists. “M’kay. That seems way too specific to be a hypothetical scenario that you just conjured up.” 

“I’m just saying. We could’ve spent that time arguing about whether the lotions go next to the toners, or the body milk.” 

Huffing, David takes the bait, “Ugh! It’s not my fault the table can’t fit all three! It was a difficult decision.” 

“I know, I know.” Patrick soothes his arms up and down.

“But you’re not going to distract me. I’m going to that job interview.”

_ Damn.  _

“Well, David, I don’t know if I want to be an accomplice here.” His arms jut out in a certain  _ you’re on your own  _ shrug.

David let out a sound not that far off from a wheeze. “Fine, you know what, I don’t need your help anyway. I’m sure I can find my way around a closet that’s two feet squared.” 

Patrick mock pouted, “Come on David, you know it’s two feet and seven inches, I feel like you can round up.”

“Well if you don’t feel like being generous, why should I?” He sticks a shoulder out, turns, and beelines for Patrick’s closet. 

Accepting defeat, Patrick finally picks up his salad and fork. Digging around as he listens to David rummaging through his belongings. 

Patrick doesn’t actually have an issue with David borrowing a couple of items. In fact, if he wasn’t so taken aback with how obtuse his fiancé was acting, he’d be a little more interested in seeing him in his clothes. 

By the time Patrick has completed eating his salad - a purely functional act at this point, the delay rendered it half soggy and room temperature - David has chosen an outfit.

Slowly but surely, Patrick’s eyes make their way up his body. “You look so much… taller, and slimmer.  _ Polite _ even...” he laughs. 

“Well good because that is  _ exactly _ what I’m going for.”

\---

**_Patrick: How’d it go with the interview?_ **

**_David: I’m at Stevie’s. We're winding down from this treacherous day_ **

Ah. Avoidant with a pinch of dramatic. Patrick already had a vague idea the interview didn’t go so well. David would have texted him immediately if he was extended an offer, or at least made it to the final round. This was just confirmation.

**_David: How’s the shop?_ **

**_Patrick: Not too bad, typical wednesday_ **

**_Patrick: I’m about to close up actually_ **

He slips his phone into his back pocket and rounds the counter to flip the  _ Closed _ sign. It takes several minutes to empty the register and account for the day’s cash. Once he’s back on his phone, he makes note of the lack of new texts. It isn’t exactly unusual for David to go radio silent when he’s spending a day with Stevie, but given they had taunted each other into this unnecessary competition, Patrick was expecting a rant of some sort. 

**_Patrick: Are you walking home or do you need a lift?_ **

**_David: I’m kinda tipsy actually so that would be great_ **

**_David: ❤️_ **

The response comes immediately, so at least he’s alert enough. Grabbing his bag and keys, Patrick heads out the door to go collect his hot-headed fiancé.

Stevie and David are at each other’s throats when Patrick arrives to pick him up. 

After knocking twice to no avail, Patrick lets himself into Stevie's apartment. 

“-doesn’t make any sense!”

“Why, David? Because all the attention was on you? I thought you liked that,” comes Stevie’s voice, loud and laced with sarcasm. 

“That is beside the point! Snapping! Is for a completely different setting!” David is on his feet, hands on his hips, looking down at Stevie’s cross legged form on her own bed. “Snapping your fingers in unison shows agreement with a statement without interrupting. Or- or,” He looks around the room, looking for answers, “A group of people showing appreciation for a particularly moving piece of poetry. Nothing, about  _ that,” _ he waves to the side, “was appreciative. It was dehumanizing at best. It was-”

“Okay I’m going to stop you right there before you pop a vein, David.” Patrick interrupts cautiously, stepping into the main area of the apartment. 

Both David and Stevie’s heads turn to him in unison. It goes to show how heated their not-so-friendly friendly debate was getting, that they didn’t notice him walk into the loft-like space. 

“Patrick! That was fast,” David’s frown loosens, but just by a fraction.

Stevie scoffs, “I’ve been trying to get your fiancé outta here for a while now. He won’t stop hating on the company I'm potentially working for.” She turns to David. “Frankly, I’m having trouble welcoming your  _ negative energy _ into my  _ personal vicinity _ .”

Patrick’s gotta admit, it’s her best impression of David to date. 

For a split second, Patrick considers playing along with Stevie. After her, Patrick is probably the next person who absolutely loves to tease David and challenge him when he’s on his high horse. But right now, Patrick can see David is feeling vulnerable. He’s not giving off a single ounce of haughty energy. 

David genuinely thought he would be qualified enough to get an offer - if not overqualified. He’s trying to deflect Stevie’s insults with some of his own, but deep down he’s probably working through some self-worth issues. 

Deciding on a gentler approach, Patrick slides up to David and wraps a single arm around his waist. “Are you ready to go home?” David’s shoulders visibly relax as he lets himself be warmed by Patrick’s closeness. He nods eagerly. 

“Nice seeing you, Patrick, good luck with your man.” Stevie says - a lot friendlier now that the tension has been diffused - as she stands to lock up behind them. 

“Goodnight, Stevie.” He replies politely as David waves goodbye wordlessly. Patrick walks David to the passenger side of his car. “So, do I even want to ask how it went?” 

“Oh god,” David groans. “Please don’t get me started.” 

Patrick shuts the door, rounds the car, and makes quick work of buckling in and driving off. 

“It’s fine, I didn’t even try that hard.” 

“I see, so this whole getup was just a little teaser then,” Patrick gestures to his own clothes on David’s body.

Patrick may be keeping his eyes strictly on the road, but his peripheral vision is strong enough for him to witness David dramatically throw his head forward into his arms. “Fine. Fine! I tried my best. Okay? I thought I could land a gig with my eyes closed. But Carol, that b- she- she’s…”

“Ooooh okay, okay baby, it’s okay.” Patrick quickly, if not desperately, sends a hand to rub along David’s thigh reassuringly. “She’s not here anymore. You never have to see her again.” 

He rolls down the windows half way, hoping the late night breeze can cleanse the air in the car. They sit in quiet for a while, David’s breaths evening out bit by bit until they’re no longer audible heaves. 

“You know, David, I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you’re not tempted by such an irresistible offer.” 

David lifts his head. Patrick looks over briefly enough to note that his eyes are dry. It’s good to know he’s mostly frustrated and annoyed, not emotionally distraught. “Oh yea? And why’s that?” 

“Today was like no other weekday, David. Remember that delayed shipment from Mrs. Henderson? Turns out the boxes were just accumulating at the post office. Four of the weekly boxes arrived at once.” 

“Don’t tell me you tried to shelf them!” 

“What else is a man to do without a customer rush to keep him busy? But it turned out so off putting, the way I added them to the center table without making sure they were aligned symmetrically.”

David visibly winces, “Oh no, I really need to get around to teaching you the art of a good center display. You probably turned away some valuable customers by just tossing them on the table like that.” 

“Mhmm…” Patrick nods along, bringing David’s closest hand up and placing a delicate kiss on his knuckles. “Even if you teach me the logistics…” Another kiss to the right of the first. “I’d still never live up to your creative skills.” 

David smiles and ducks his head, happy to take the praise even though it’s pretty clear Patrick is laying it on thick to make him feel better. “Thank you, Patrick.” That’s how they fall back into the quiet lull.

He toys with the idea of beating David to work the next morning in order to push some bottles around to make them look aimless. What he’d said about the shipments was certainly true, but he might be found guilty about just how much he exaggerated his lack of artistic ability. 

Pulling up to his parking spot, Patrick notices an uncharacteristically silly smile plastered over David’s face. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” He whispers, lifting his hand gently to rub his thumb along the scruff of David’s jawline. 

“It’s just that… When you asked me if I was ready to go home, we both intuitively knew that you meant here. I know I haven’t officially moved in with you, yet, but it’s nice to know my essentials are here. I don’t have to haphazardly pack a bag or… get dropped off at the motel and text you all night to make sure you’re the last thing I think about before I go to sleep.”

Patrick turns in his seat to face him directly. “David, there’s nothing I want more than to spend every night with you. Every day. Every activity.” He smiles deeply, overwhelmed with how true his words are. Could he ever bore of spending time with David? Possibly not.

David sighs happily, looking down at his gold rings. “I’m starting to think if you hadn’t proposed to me already, I’d be tempted to propose to you.”

The familiar warmth in Patrick’s chest burns hotter and hotter. For a moment, he can’t think of anything to say. He stares into David’s eyes, impressed yet again at the depths of love that David can take him to. “I love you.” He finally chokes out, leaning forward. 

David meets him over the console, placing his hand on Patrick’s neck with a gentle yet all consuming pressure. When their lips meet, it feels like home. They may not be married yet, they may not live together yet, but they’re each other’s home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey friend! Thank you so much for making it this far! 
> 
> This idea came to me as I rewatched the episode and thought it’s absolutely ridiculous that Patrick doesn’t make an appearance. Surely, he would have certain opinions about David’s plans. And surely, he would be the one taking care of David’s feelings after a rejection of that nature...
> 
> I’d love to know what you think in the comments :)


End file.
